Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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