Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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