i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
