grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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