I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
