Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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