This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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