Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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