Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
