Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
