So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
