he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
