i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
