We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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