Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
