The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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