so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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