Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
