Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
