Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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