Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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