yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just want to make out with him forever
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
