im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
