If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
