I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Did I show you my penis last night?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
