So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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