Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
