i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
