I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Quick, to the slutcave!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
pray to the hookup gods
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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