Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
