I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
