Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
