She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
