It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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