morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
