i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
