I have demons in me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
