distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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