I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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