I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
