His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
