yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
