how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
