oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
