So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
