Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
