I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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