dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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