i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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