is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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