I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
