But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
