So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
