Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
