Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
